Is distance really that detrimental to a friendship? I spoke with my friend for a few hours today—about various things, but a major topic was my possible relocation to another city, and he’s absolutely terrified of it. I hardly see any of my friends so I don’t feel like it’d make that huge of an impact, despite the fact that I’ve been friends with this person for ten years, but he’s being pretty dramatic about it.
Like, once I move I will cease to exist or something; Or rather, he’ll cease to exist.
"You’re the only one I understand. Okay no, no one understands you; You’re an enigma. But you’re all I have," He said. —It’s amazing that as emotionally void as I am, my best friend is just the exact opposite; and excruciatingly clingy.
Perhaps I’m just too used to having friends on the internet. As far as I’m concerned, we’d still be in the same time zone and compared to most relationships I have with people online, this wouldn’t be a huge strain at all. Then again I’ve never been one to fear getting replaced, which is probably what this is truly about.
I won’t pretend that I wasn’t flattered about being referred to as an enigma though.
I was finally able to take my sister out to see Frozen. The movie was gorgeous, as expected, and we couldn’t stop laughing at everything Olaf did/said.
Naturally, I feel for Elsa. I’m the estranged, older sister who’s had to shut down her feelings to keep things under control over the years. Of course for different reasons, but I’d much rather be doing it to hide icy powers.
It was really nice having my jaeger co-pilot back in town this weekend. The last few months have been pretty lonely, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but I realise how much more comfortable my house feels just having certain people around. I’m not saying I miss kafka, but I miss kafka.
I only miss people in an unconventional way, I’ve noticed. I have no problem going years without seeing or speaking to friends or family members, but it’s the people I see on a daily basis that I quietly miss as if they’re already dead. I regret things that haven’t happened yet and I feel grief over tragedies that have not yet come to pass.
So this has been an incredibly long week. A lot of events are coming up all of a sudden so it’s a bit hectic. And the worst part is last weekend Lauren had gotten in a pretty scary car accident. We’ve been waiting to find out whether or not the Normandy is totalled; the anticipation is making it hard for her to relax.
She had spun out on a winding road and nearly flipped/rolled the car, yet somehow managed to walk out of the vehicle without even a scratch or a bruise. She’s really upset about her car because it’s her “baby” but I’m trying to cheer her up by telling her that story is kind of bad ass (I mean, just a little), and I’m glad she came out fine because that could have ended a number of terrible ways.
Also I don’t have to fund a Lazarus Project, which is good.
But she’s been resting a lot to recover from the whiplash. Just cross your fingers about her car~
Someone woke me with urgent rapping at the door again but when I finally woke up they got in their car, one I didn’t recognise, and left. Now I can’t go back to sleep because I can’t shake the feeling that something has gone wrong. Last time that happened someone died.
My family obviously needs to properly trade phone numbers.
Lauren and I were talking about pre-school today and my only memory of it is dreading class time because these twin girls were bullying me everyday, ha. But I thought over my childhood and I realise I take for granted the fact that my parents, though not exactly perfect people, gave me the choice to express myself as I pleased.
I missed a call from my sister really early in the morning and thought: if she’s calling me from Chicago at that time, something might be wrong. Maybe she and her boyfriend broke up, she probably needs a plane ticket home, etc. I call her back and she asks, “Have you seen the last episode of Game of Thrones?”
I had to take an unexpected trip to the hospice my grandmother was staying at last night. I had just gotten into bed, it was past midnight, and someone started (vigorously) knocking at the front door. It scared the crap out of me, if I’m honest.
I don’t think I should feel bad because people die every day and nothing about this particular death will be more significant than the next. My relatives are taking it pretty hard and I only managed a few tears in private. I think the only thing I’m upset about is how anticlimactic death is.
This week my grandmother exists, next week she won’t, and the world will continue just as it was. Which is fine—but just a little depressing.
who ran out after us saying, “I don’t usually do this but you’re just so cute—and I don’t know if you have a boyfriend or not but I really wanted to ask for your number.”
My friend Cota was slightly offended because, "That guy was either convinced I had no shot with you myself, or that I was gay."
The employee was so sincere though, the both of us almost wanted to give him my number because we were so won over/felt bad. I told him I had a girlfriend, to which he replied, “Well, A for effort, right?” and hugged me out of “Lesbian respect” because he grew up with two mums.
Being hit on has never been so heartwarming.
After hearing his name it jolted my memory, and I realised I went to high school with him. The funny part is he had a crush on me then, too. I didn’t see a point in mentioning it, though. According to J it could have been true love but I just had to be a selfish lesbian.